Reevaluating and Rearranging My Life and This Blog

Freesias in our sandy backyard.

I‘ve been composing this post in my mind for over a month and I still don’t know what I want to say . . .

I feel awkward talking about myself to in this way, but I know when a blogger I read stops writing very frequently, I wonder what is going on. Is there anything wrong? Are they okay?

So, I thought I’d give you all a little run down of what is happening behind the scenes here.

When I started this blog, my youngest was still taking two naps a day. I used the first nap to do school work with my older children and the second nap to blog or do something else I enjoyed.

Well, the two-nap days must end at some point, and they are now but a distant memory. In the past I would send the older two for a quiet time while my toddler napped and then I would blog or work on dinner, or exercise, or whatever.

Now I find myself trying to squeeze in story time or math help while the whirlwind in asleep.

It’s just easier.

But there goes my quiet time. (This is only temporary.)

I’m really going around and around about how and when to fit in creative outlets for mom while staying true to my family’s priorities.

I want to serve my family. To train my children. To love my husband.

I also want to feed my own soul. Yes, doing these things does bring satisfaction to me. But mama needs quiet some of the time, too.

It’s a tricky balance.

I find it way too easy to fill every minute of the day with some activity or another. It may not be going out and about, but simply being busy at home.

The problem is, when I make myself a to-do list that couldn’t be accomplished in three days let alone one afternoon, I become stressed and frustrated. My family starts to seem as if they are in my way rather than being my focus and joy.

That is sad.

I want to push my kids on the swing without thinking that I should be doing x, y or z instead. I need free time and lots of margin to do this.

As you can imagine, this affects my blog.

I love to write here and I have pages and pages of notes scribbled down that I want to share with you. The trouble is I can’t seem to find the time to do it.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I am also trying to make sleep a priority.

This is still a work in progress.

But again, this affects my blog.

I am striving to forgo staying up late writing since it inevitably leads to a hard day. It’s not easy to be nice, sweet, and patient when you are exhausted.

I’m also freaking out that my oldest will soon be eleven! The years of having her at home are numbered.

So what does this mean?

Well, I don’t know.

I toyed with the idea of quitting blogging completely, but for someone who scribbles ideas during dinner prep and while falling asleep at night, blogging is a good outlet.

What I’m trying to do is keep my blogging and writing in a neat, little box.

I know this won’t happen perfectly, but my goal is to set aside time to write and then write during those times and leave it at that (for the most part).

This may mean fewer posts here. But it may not. It all depends on how quickly I write, I suppose.

I’ve stepped down from one of my contributor positions also. A hard decision, but one I felt the need to make.

I’m also taking down my advertising option. I don’t want to feel the need to write here when I am dealing with a sick child or some other need. And if someone has paid me to advertise, I will feel obligated. I don’t want to let them down.

This season of motherhood is short. I don’t want to miss it.

I want my kids to see that mom has passion and does things she enjoys, but I also want them to know without a doubt that she has time for them and enjoys their company.

I don’t want to rush through bedtime or cut conversations short because I need to write.

I still want to write. I still plan to write. But I’m still figuring out when and how.

I feel totally nervous sharing this with all of you. As if I haven’t explained it well enough or that you will think badly of me. But I want to be honest and I want to do what is right.

I want to encourage you to love your families and create delightful homes. I must be living that example in order to have anything worth saying.

If you’ve read this far, thanks for indulging me.

You are appreciated.

With love,

Stacy

Comments

  1. I COMPLETELY understand and am still trying to figure out a balance myself! My oldest daughter just turned sixteen! I remember her being 11 all too much like it was yesterday! Unless their is a pressing financial need for you to blog in order to make ends meet, then blogging is the last thing you should feel you “have to do.”

    Getting rid of the advertising option is very wise if their is no need of the extra money they bring. From what I understand from others, there is always the pressure to write in order to keep them coming back.

    May God bless you greatly for keeping your priorities straight!

    • Thank you, Michelle. You are always so encouraging. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. You always bless me when you do :)

  2. I really appreciate your being so candid. I think it takes a real mother to stand up and say my family comes first. I am a newer blogger and am trying to find middle ground myself. I hope to find a balance soon. I like yourself create these immense to-do lists with the ability to only accomplish 1/4 or less in a day and then feel terrible at the end of the day.

    I wish you great success as you discover what is best for your family!

    • Thank you for your kind encouragement, Amanda.

      I hope you will continue to strive for balance as you work on your blog.

      Blessings.

  3. I am totally understanding here! It is honestly refreshing to hear someone flat out state that they can’t do it all. It makes all the rest of us out here feel real and normal :) I think it is very honorable to put your family first and fit other things around as you can.

    • Thanks, Monica. I’m grateful you took the time to encourage me.

      Glad it helped you feel real and normal. I’m certainly very real and normal :)

  4. Stacy, I understand what you mean! I am supporting my husband by opening up a business and I am temporarily working (up to a year probably) I feel as I am missing our on so much with my kids and the time I do have, can’t spend it on my blog much- which is also something I miss! This is a season! Thanks for sharing your heart!

    • Rachel,
      You sure have a lot on your plate! That must be tough. I hope this season passes quickly for you.

      I appreciate you! (and I love your blog, too).

  5. Oh how my heart cries to you….stop the blog and enjoy the years God has given you with your family. I say this from a heart of a woman who worked way to many hours when her children were little and not once have heard my kids say “gee I wish you had worked more” I love reading your blog as I know others do but I feel you can do the same thing by once a week or month making a post that will make all of us stand up and take notice that you are leading other Moms who are in the same place you are by putting your family first..where God has asked you to put them. The days are so short that your kids will want to hang out with you that they are little and then comes those teen years where you NEED to be with them to guide them and show them the love of our Lord. Blogging will be there when you have the time and feel lead to post and I know those days that you do post will be amazing as it will be not from a struggle but from a happy content heart with a message to share. God bless you and your family and I for one look forward to not seeing you quite as often. Enjoy the gifts God has given you and share with us in your spare time.

  6. Jennifer says:

    As someone that often wonders how all the blogger moms I follow seem to do it all, I am actually encouraged by your honesty. It’s almost frustrating to hear all the wonderful things that people online seem to do when that would never be possible for me. Your dedication to your family is why I love reading your blog. Plus, I don’t really have the time to read constant posts so your
    won’t affect my loyalty to you.

    • Thanks Jennifer!

      Your comment really encouraged me. I know exactly you what you mean about feeling frustrated when seeing what people are doing online. It seems impossible to keep up!

      My hubby read something recently about how Facebook makes people more depressed. We think everyone has a better life that we do. That’s because most people are posting their highlights, not the every day, mundane, hard stuff. I think blogs are very similar.

  7. Stacy,
    I’m probably one of your quieter readers. I just wanted to say whatever this ends up looking like it will be exactly what it is meant to be. Bless you in your new season!
    Amy

  8. I really appreciate you sharing this. I have been trying to start a blog for a long time now. My whole goal is more for journalling for my family. I can’t seem to find the time to make it happen. I am so blessed with the blogs I read when I have time but I always wonder what I am doing wrong cause I can’t seem to do all they do. I know we are not to compare. May God bless you as you shower your family with love and attention. They will benefit from this and as much as I will miss your wisdom and sharing, your family needs you more. I am learning that loving like Christ, means doing what He gives me to do and laying down what I think I want to do.

    • Thank you, Heidi.

      I like what you said: “I am learning that loving like Christ, means doing what He gives me to do and laying down what I think I want to do.” Isn’t that hard?!

      And please know, that the blogs you read where people are seeming to do it all, are just snippets of someones life. No one can do it all. No one. I can attest to the fact that if I churn out a ton of carefully crafted blog posts, my kitchen is a mess and I won’t know what to cook for dinner!

      Of course everyone is different, and there is much to be accomplished with some per-planning and preparation. But there are only 24 hours in a day and being a mom means investing a lot of that time into our family.

      You already know that, though :) I’m just rambling now . . .

      Thanks again for your encouragement.

  9. Stacy,

    I truly admire your desire to work through all that’s important in your life. Believe me when I say that you will be in my prayers. God will honor your desire and efforts to do what is pleasing to Him.

    Holly

  10. I could have written this myself, Stacy. I’m right there with you. It’s hard with only one nap. There’s only so much I can fit into an afternoon quiet time!
    I say blog when you can and we will all be here still ready to read. :)

    • I know you left this comment weeks ago, but I still wanted to say thank you for it :)

      “Blog when you can” – yep. That’s about the size of what I’m doing right now. Thanks for reading and encouraging me.

  11. Stacey,
    My heart goes out to you as a Mom who has been on both sides of the fence. “Working” and working!! My kids are now 36 and 31, and this I know…
    I love & cherish all the time spent at home with each child 1 – 5 years.
    I loved all the time I was allowed to spend with each child in school during the early years of school..
    I hated when I finally had to go to work.
    I cried when work interfered with day time activities for the kids.
    At one point I worked full time 40 hours a week, part time 20 – 30 hours a week and I baby/kid sat most weekends and some weekday nights. (There was no husband in my life during those times.)

    I will always cherish the comment my son said a few years back. “Mom even with all you worked to make things possible for me and Misty, you made it to almost all my games”

    This I say to you (& I just found this wonderful blog today for the 1st time), family does comes 1st and all the rest comes 2nd. Your readers (after reading 61 one comments on the Vick’s rub) love what you give them and will be there whenever you can make it to your blog. I am a Mom and so are they and they understand your predicament and only want what’s best for you and your family!

    • Dear Deebi,

      I appreciate your comment so much! Thank you for sharing some of your story with us. I’m grateful for your honesty.

      The perspective of someone who has lived through a few different seasons means a lot. And how awesome that you made it to all your son’s games! AND that he remembered. AND that it told you so. That is wonderful.

      I am so thankful for your encouragement.

      Stacy

  12. I know exactly what you mean, Stacy. Thank you for your candidness and the vulnerability you displayed in this post. I love your blog and it doesn’t matter whether you write every day or once a week, I look forward to whatever you have to share and appreciate that the rest of the time you are fulfilling your first priority – serving your family, being a keeper of the home, loving your husband and children.

  13. Stacy,
    I selfishly hope you won’t stop blogging. But I understand being careful of how you spend your time on the computer so that it doesn’t take away from your family. I have 4 children. The Lord has convicted me about the time I spend on the computer during the day, so I’ve been cutting back.

    • Erin,

      Thanks so much for your comment. I hope I won’t stop blogging either :) It is fun!

      Good for you for cutting back on computer time. It isn’t easy, but so worthwhile.

      I pray that God will bless your efforts.

      Stacy

  14. Totally understand you here! I wish we could fit everything into the day … but you know, when push comes to shove, only so many things fit. You’ve chosen the best of what needs to stay daily. xo

    • Thanks, Hy. You are a great example of someone who strives to chose the best.

      I appreciate your constant encouragement. You are a treasure.

      Much love. xoxo

  15. this is great “I want to encourage you to love your families and create delightful homes. I must be living that example in order to have anything worth saying.”

    thank you for always walking the walk and being such an inspiring woman!

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